WoW – Isturon’s Notes

• Nessna and Sath’alor had their date for the theater play come up. I arrived at their place to watch the boys for them while they went. Rylad spent most of the time wanting to be a cat. I don’t know where the actual cats were, but I’m kind of glad I didn’t have to deal with them.
• Zeran also spent some time being a cat. He’s starting to speak full sentences. They’re short, but his vocabulary is growing. He does know ‘rawr’. I’m kind of glad Hethurin never did that. I think Nessna would have if she fell in with the wrong pre-school crowd, but thankfully, she didn’t.
• They left early enough to get supper before the theater. I didn’t see it, but Sath’alor claims that Nessna wore a dress. She must have slipped that on while I was distracted by the boys, the slipped back into pants right after getting back. I’ll admit I fell asleep on the sofa, but not until after the boys were asleep. It’s hard work being a grandfather. I’d earned a little nap, but I did miss the dress!
• I wound up staying at the ranger building last night. Nessna said it was too far to walk to my place in the dark, and maybe she was right. They have a couple of spare beds in the men’s quarters, so both she and Sath’alor thought it would be better if I stayed there.
• They also said there were donuts in the morning, which honestly, was all they needed to say.
• It also came with the added bonus that I got to speak with Arancon. I think everyone’s heard that his girlfriend stayed the night at his place. I heard it from Hethurin who had heard it from Aeramin. I guess Aeramin is upset about it or something. I don’t know what’s wrong with these kids not wanting their parents to be happy.
• It was pretty late, but he was still awake. He’s still adamant that I should just try inviting Braedra over for supper. I’m not sure that’s a good idea, and the fact is, I have. It was supposed to be for lunch, but I think it’s going to be supper. I’m worried that things will progress too far, too quickly. I’m going to make sandwiches, which I guess isn’t the fanciest meal, but it was supposed to be lunch.
• I told him that and he asked me what I’m afraid of. I don’t think I’m afraid. I haven’t really wondered if I am. I like her. I want to get to know her better. I don’t want to rush her. I’m afraid of rushing her. So that’s it, right? I’m afraid of rushing her.
• I may also be afraid that she’ll break it off with me eventually. I fell asleep thinking about that.
• That’s probably why Sath’alor was able to get it from me so easily in the morning. Luckily, Nessna knows about what I told Sath’alor, and she knows not to tell Esladra or Vallindra. I know that both of them still have contact with their mother, and I don’t want it getting back to her, though I suppose it doesn’t matter now.
• I’ve always hoped that my children would be able to find love on their own. I’ve hated having to stand by and watch as Verisna tried to find matches for them, and that’s because I was never really very happy with her. I made the decision to study to be a priest when I was young, and my parents found a way to make that happen with an arranged marriage. My decision was to study and not inherit the farm. I didn’t choose Verisna.
• I thought love for her would come in time, but it didn’t. She wanted children. Specifically, she wanted sons. Vaildor’s death put even more strain on the relationship, and by the time Sanimir was born things were pretty much already over.
• Of course, at that point, I was already forty years in. I didn’t want to lose my children so I stayed.
• Another factor was the prenuptial agreement. I’d get nothing, not even what I had earned if the marriage didn’t last a certain amount of time, so I worked to make sure it lasted that long, which was, perhaps, not very nice, but then Verisna was never very nice either. Now I get a comfortable amount from her each month, and I don’t have to see her again.
• I had a point.
• Oh yes, I remember now. I spoke with Sath’alor and let it out that I had seen other women while I was married, and my point to telling him that was to let him know that they always left me. Even though I let them know I was married right at the start, they still left me. I think every single one of them set out with the idea they were going to make me leave Verisna or something. At some point ,it always came to that. They wanted more, some sort of commitment.
• Verisna was cheating on me too. I bet she’s cheating on Bailas, and that’s why she hasn’t come out to fetch him yet.
• All I wanted was a woman who loved me.
  Maybe it’s just not meant to be.
• Sometimes I think I should bring it up with the confessor, but I don’t want Lani to know. She knows about one but not the rest. Luckily, Nessna does know about more than one, so if Sath’alor tells her, she knows better than to spread the news around.
• Sath’alor thinks I should tell Braedra.
• Braedra has already asked me to stop spending money on her. She may not be ready for a relationship. I’m willing to wait, but that’s assuming she might think she’d be interested later.
• I’m going to get her flowers anyway. Sath’alor suggested I get a card and write my feelings in it. I’m not sure what I’m allowed to feel for her. I thought getting a card with something already written in it would be better, but he said those aren’t personal. I think if I’m personally picking it out, then it’s personal. I’ll buy both and paraphrase the one that’s already written.
• We’re also going to see the orchestra. I think as friends, unless the card is really good.
• I’m taking myself to see a jazz band later this week.
• Also, Sath’alor told me that Nessna is going to have another baby. I don’t know why Nessna didn’t tell me. While I’m happy, I can’t help but feel older with each grandchild.