- It’s been a few weeks since I last wrote in my journal. The baby’s room is almost done. I painted the walls green, then used a stencil to put little ducks on it. I hope he or she likes ducks— and green. Well, the ducks aren’t green. They’re yellow. I guess if he or she doesn’t like it we can paint it another color when he or she gets older. We still need a crib, but we have a mattress and some bedding for the crib. Yara, one of the women still staying at the ranger building, put us in contact with her father for the crib. He makes furniture for a living and he’s giving us a discount because we work with his daughter.
- Speaking of kids, Aeramin was by the other morning. I think he’s still angry, but he’s trying really hard to hide it. He invited Anorelle and me to supper at his place this weekend. I accepted his invitation. I just hope he doesn’t decide to cry and yell about anything. At least this time, he’ll be cooking. I have a feeling Anorelle will want to go see him while he’s cooking. She’s worried about him hating her. I don’t think he hates her. I think the problem is that he hates me.
- This is where someone usually points out he’s come to check on me and make sure things are okay since he moved out, but I’m perfectly capable of pointing this out to myself now. He can’t hate me completely. He’s even invited us to supper.
- Anyway, Anorelle will probably want to talk to him and try to make him less angry. I’m not sure that’s possible, but I’ll let her try. There’s no harm in it. I know he won’t hurt her, but he might cry or yell or run upstairs and lock himself in his room. Sometimes I think he’s never going to grow up.
- But then, maybe it took me a long time to grow up too.
- I’ve been trying to think of conversation topics with Imralion while Anorelle talks to Aeramin. I could ask him if he’s lifted anything heavy lately. Maybe we could talk about the blood knights or something, then I could tell him about the rangers, but then he probably hears about that a lot from his sister. I could ask him if he’s ever thought of suggesting to Aeramin that he should visit Lyorri, or I suppose I should stick to more neutral topics, like the weather or something.
- It’s been hot lately. Hotter than it was last year. It’s something to talk about.
- I had another visitor a few mornings ago. Isturon stopped by. I’ve never quite seen him like that. I think he was angry because his girlfriend is friends with his ex-wife now. He said he had been trying to protect her from her and now they’re friends. He did seem upset about that. Like really upset. I think the guy needs one of those ‘man vacations’ where he can go do manly things without any women around. I told him as much, and he said something about not being able to disappear. I didn’t say anything about disappearing. Of course, he’ll need to tell Braedra he’s going on a ‘man vacation’. He could fish or join a hunting party or something. He said she wouldn’t trust him.
- What am I going to do with this guy?
- Then he started saying it was probably over with Braedra because Verisna was probably going to fill Braedra’s head with lies about him. I asked if she had already started. He hesitated and said, and I quote, “No, but she’s told her some unflattering truths.”
- I’m sure he’s told Braedra some unflattering truths about Verisna too. I wound up telling him that I don’t really know how to deal with ex-wives. I have absolutely no experience to draw on for advice with that.
- Then he interrupted and said that she had told a lie. I guess she had said that he slept with someone that he didn’t or something, which honestly, at this point sounds like just a technicality. I can’t expect she kept a list of the people he slept with, so it sounds like less of an intentional lie than it was just a mistake. I didn’t tell him that. I just nodded and stated again how I didn’t have the experience to comment much.
- I do hope he comes back though. I’ll miss hearing about it if he finds someone who has an ex-wife.
Category Archives: Uncategorized
We’re back home. While I enjoyed the trip, I’ve missed the kids and the grandkids, so it’s good to be back home. However, I did like having the time alone to spend with Braedra.
It was a wonderful trip. I was worried because I hadn’t really been there before, not for fun anyway. I hadn’t seen all that it had to offer. We saw nether dragons, giant domes meant to preserve the flora and fauna of Netherstorm, and Shattrath was an amazing city. I can see why Hethurin likes it. There’s a large library, bigger than the one in Silvermoon, and many nice little restaurants. In the lower city, there are many places with market stalls set up, and a few restaurants there as well. In the center of the city is a large building where the Naaru stay. They’re large beings that sort of float and glow, and they’re made of light, which I found interesting. I had heard that they could talk to people, but you hear them speaking in your mind, not out loud. I didn’t hear anything, but still, I found it fascinating just to be in their presence.
It was wonderful being there with Braedra. The more I get to know her, the more I want to be with her, and now that we’re back home, I find myself missing the time we spent together. I went to find her at the school after visiting with Lani and Esladra for the day.
I was finally able to tell her about the things I did in the past. I was worried that she wouldn’t want to see me again. She did give me a couple of looks and basically told me that I should have waited until after leaving Verisna to see other people. I agree. There are a lot of things I should have done differently, but I didn’t and as Arancon says, it’s better to be honest. She did seem to think that I was just doing it to have fun, but I think if that’s all I wanted, I could have found a prostitute. No. I wanted a loving relationship. I knew I’d never have one with Verisna.
Thankfully, she still wants to see me. I’ve invited her to my place for supper, which I’m a little nervous about because my kitchen is small, and I am probably not an amazing cook. I can make stew, but stew is for people who don’t know how to cook. I want to make something better than stew. She deserves better than stew.
I went to speak to Arancon this morning. I found him at the ranger building. Nessna and Anorelle both had gone out on patrol already, and he was sitting on the ground outside next to a riding machine that he purchased. He was doing something with it. I’m not sure what. I sat on a nearby bench after handing him a bottle of grape juice, and telling him I heard Anorelle was going to have a baby.
He’s very happy about the baby. He kept talking about it, and how he’s painting the baby’s room and getting furniture. He said Aeramin wasn’t very happy, but they had another talk about it recently and Arancon said that one went a little better than the first one, so he’s hoping he’s coming around. I hope he’s right. Speaking from experience, it can get rough when older kids don’t want another baby sibling, but then Aeramin doesn’t live with him, so I guess it’s completely different.
I did get to ask him about meal ideas. He’s mentioned working as a cook in restaurants before, so I thought he might have some ideas. He suggested pasta with homemade tomato sauce. It sounds like a lot of work. I might ask Tik if he has any ideas.
I also told him that I told her about things that happened in the past. He said he was happy to hear I was honest with her.
He asked if I had any plans for the future. I mentioned the meal again, and he just gave me a look to tell me that was not what he meant. Which has caused me to stop and think about it? I’m not sure what the next step is. She’s a proper woman. I can’t just ask her to stay overnight with me like Arancon did with Anorelle. Not that I’m saying anything about Anorelle, but Braedra isn’t anything like her, so when Arancon says something, a lot of times, I don’t feel it applies in my situation.
I think it goes back to what I’m really looking for again. I’m not just looking to have fun. Not that I think Arancon was just out to have fun. I mean, they did get married. I just don’t think that what worked for him with Anorelle will work for me with Braedra.
He did suggest flowers and a poem about how I feel for her. I might try that.
- Anorelle is going to have a baby. I’m wholly excited, ecstatic even. I just didn’t think it would happen this late in my life, but I’m so happy that it did. Considering that last year, I didn’t even think I’d marry again, this is a really big thing.
- We’ve decided on Tiros for a boy and Kaylessa if it’s a girl. Kaylessa was my mother’s name and Tiros was Anorelle’s father’s name. I wonder sometimes if her parents were still alive if they would approve of me. Probably not. Then again, maybe they would have seen me for who I am now and not who I used to be. I’m sure they’d be happy to know there’s a baby on the way.
- We’ve started getting ready, though it’s a ways off yet. Esladra said not until winter, but summer is the best time to paint the room. I’ve been working on that. I don’t want Anorelle near the paint. Some of it smells, and it could make her and the baby sick.
- I remember with Aeramin, none of it felt real until I held him in my arms for the first time. This time, it already feels real. Even with a 122-year gap between kids, I know what’s coming. Well, I mean, kind of. I hope this one isn’t as stubborn.
- I had to tell Aeramin. I wanted to wait a little to figure out the best way to tell him, but then I told Sunashe, and Sunashe is married to Lin, who is Aeramin’s husband’s sister, so I thought it would be best if I went right away after patrol before he heard it from anyone else.
- He’s cranky about it. He kept acting like I should have consulted him first, and he said a lot of hurtful things, things that I know used to be true, but aren’t anymore. I guess he had some time to think on it and was able to express himself better with the confessor. Or maybe the confessor just put it into nicer words. At my appointment, the confessor told me that he’s worried that I won’t care for him anymore. If I’m being honest, that sounds like something a seven-year-old would say, not a 122-year-old, but I know if I told him that, it would just make things worse, so it is what it is, and it’s not up to me to point it out.
- I was hesitant to go see him again. When he gets like this, sometimes he just needs a bit of time, but since he’s afraid I won’t care for him, I thought maybe I should go see him to just show that I do want to be there for him if he wants me around. I was planning to go in the evening, after taking Anorelle back home.
- He beat me to it. That morning, right after Anorelle left for patrol, he showed up. I was sitting at the table, eating one of the donuts from Orledin’s first batch, and he just walked in and plopped down in the chair across from me and helped himself to a donut. I guess he was waiting for me to say something first, so I said I wasn’t expecting he’d want to visit me so soon then he said that we needed to talk.
- But talking at the ranger building wasn’t good enough. I guess he was afraid that Orledin would overhear us or something so he suggested getting breakfast in the city. I agreed as I figured there would be less chance of anyone yelling at me in a restaurant.
- It was still very early morning, but there are a few places open all night, so we went to one of those. He made a portal to get us to the city, then we walked the rest of the way. He was silent on the way there, so I was too. He had come to me, so I thought it would be best to let him speak next.
- We got to the restaurant. There weren’t many people there that early so we sat at a table in back away from the two other tables that did have people. I got eggs and sausage and he ordered waffles with sugar on them. They brought coffee first, and he sat there playing with his spoon until they brought the food.
- He finally spoke to me after his sugared waffle was in front of him. He said he was sorry for asking me to leave the other day. I told him he was already forgiven. Then he said he was also sorry for acting like a child. I started to tell him I understood and that it was fine, but he held up his hand like he didn’t want to hear it and that he had more to say, so I let him continue.
- He said that he was mad that his sibling would get the father he should have had, and he said he hated even having the thought because it meant he was jealous of a baby that wasn’t even born yet.
- I wasn’t sure what to say to that at first. It’s true that from the time we moved to Silvermoon to just a few years ago, I was not a very good father to him. I was not a very good anything to anyone. I know it’s too late for a lot of things, but I don’t want it to be too late to be a good father to him. I told him that. I told him I’m aware I wasn’t the father he needed in the past, but I can be the father he needs now. Maybe it won’t be easy, but I’d like to leave the past behind us and focus on the future. He seemed not too sure.
- I pointed out that both he and his new sibling will have the best of me from now on. He ate his waffle as if he had suddenly lost interest in talking.
- Asking him if there was anything I could do brought him back into the conversation.
- He said, since I asked, he wasn’t entirely happy with my blanket apology for ‘everything’ and that he still held some specific incidents against me. He said he wanted to let them go, but they kept coming back to him. I asked which ones.
- He asked if I remembered the first time I hit him. I was sorry to admit I didn’t. He reminded me. It was his tenth birthday. He remembered that I had promised to get him something special, but I didn’t have it and I hit him instead. I remembered some of that. Maena had sold one of her paintings to someone who paid very well, and we had the money to send him for a semester to a private school with some pre-magic classes, which he had already shown an interest in. Of course, at ten-years-old, it would have been just very basic theory, but he would have enjoyed it.
- Unfortunately, I spent some of it by going to the bar a few nights in a row. I had decided to try to win back what I had spent at the poker table, except I was never very good at poker, and wound up losing even more. I remember drinking all night the night before his birthday. I still don’t remember hitting him, but he says I did when he asked me where his present was. So I apologized for that specific incident.
- He continued with six other specific incidents. A couple of them, I remembered, but most, I didn’t. I apologized for them all.
- At the end of it, he said thanks and paid the bill. It was rather abrupt, and he looked like he was going to cry. I asked him if he was okay, and he didn’t really answer. He just mumbled something about getting me back to the ranger lodge. So I asked again, and then he said he was fine, which usually means he’s not fine, but I decided not to press the matter this time.
- He made the portal and we both went through. Before he teleported from the lodge back to his place, he did say he wanted to leave the past behind us too, but then he was gone before I could say anything else. I’m guessing he just needs some time. I know none of this has been easy on him.
Hethurin Fairsong cast the spell to make the portal at the appointed time. He had not wanted to arrive early. It was already bad enough that he had to go at all, but neither did he want to arrive late. That would only give her leverage, and that was the last thing he needed his mother to have. The exact time was the best time to show up. He let Terellion step through the portal first and followed after him.
She was there already, waiting in the front room of the clinic with Lani and the Confessor. Terellion took up his watch near the door. It was his job to make sure no one else came in unless they had an actual emergency that the needed to see Lani for. If that happened, Hethurin would have to leave to get to safety before the door was opened. He wasn’t taking any chances this time. Lani was near the door to their home in back, and the Confessor sat in a chair near the other two chairs, ready to moderate should he need to.
His mother got up and started to approach him. “Sanimir! I thought you’d never get here. I’ve been waiting forever!”
He smiled slightly as she walked right into his ward. “I do not wish to be touched, mother. I made a ward to block everyone, including you, from approaching me. Also, if you were waiting forever, that was your own fault. I’m here precisely at the time I said I’d be. Now, let’s go sit and get this over with, shall we?”
He didn’t wait for her to answer. He brushed by her with his shoulders back and his head high. With his robes, it almost appeared he was gliding to his seat. He sat down and looked at her while he waited for her to walk back to her seat. He could tell that she was angry, but was in no position to show it. She sat down.
“So, what was it that you wished to talk to me about?”
“I was going to ask if you had forgiven Bailas, but honestly, I’m not sure I forgive him now. Still, I wanted to see you. You’re my son.”
He twitched an ear in irritation. She had said it was important. Idle chit-chat was not important. He decided to focus on her original reason for asking to see him. “I haven’t forgiven him. In fact, sending him here has only worsened the matter.”
She nodded, “I agree. I don’t think I’ll be taking him back with me.”
“That’s just like you.”
She raised a brow. “And what is that supposed to mean?”
“I mean, fine, he cheated on you and yes, you should probably leave him, but you’re leaving him with nothing. He happened to mention signing a paper before getting married.”
“Well, after what your father did, you can hardly blame me.”
Hethurin shook his head, “Bailas had a job and was making it on his own when he first met you. The least you could do is help him find work in Silvermoon. If you really wanted to help, you’d give him a little something to get started out with.”
“Why would I want to do that? He’s just after money.”
“I don’t think he was just out for money. I think he loved you until you decided to send him away. Did you ever love him? Do you even know what love is? I don’t think you do, and furthermore,” he kept talking as to not let her answer, “maybe you should do that just because it’s the nice thing to do. In fact, that’s a condition I want to be met before we meet to talk again. If Bailas isn’t given a little to live on and help to find work, then I will not meet with you ever again.”
She raised a brow and opened her mouth to say something, but Hethurin continued.
“The second condition I want to be met is a full scholarship paid to any underprivileged student to any school. It can be Fairsong Academy or any school you choose. The less likely that student could have paid for it themselves, and the more minutes you get to spend with me for idle chit-chat. I hope that’s clear. Now, as I thought this was supposed to be something important, but it turns out it isn’t, I have to go. I have things I need to do. When my conditions are met, I will come to see you in Silvermoon.”
He rose from his seat and spoke again before his mother could say anything, “Terellion, with me, please.” He headed straight for the door where Lanthiriel stood. She opened it to let him and his husband pass through into the sitting room of her home. She closed the door behind them.
Hethurin started casting the spell for the portal back to the school.
Terellion shifted uneasily, “Is it really a good idea to agree to see her in Silvermoon?”
Hethurin finished his cast, allowing the portal to open. Before entering it, he looked at Terellion and said, “She has to meet my conditions first. It might be a while, but hopefully, I’ve convinced her that she doesn’t need to stay in the Ghostlands any longer.”
Terellion frowned as they both stepped towards the portal, “I hope you’re right.”
This is an essay about how I feel about the school year and my plans for the summer, and it’s for my final assignment.
I think the school year was good. I’m not in the general studies class full-time, but I get the notes from Kiandris for the days I miss so it’s not so bad that I miss a couple of days each week. Miss Lali is very good about rotating the classes for me too which means I never miss one class all the time. My year at the art school was good too, but I’m still too young to go there full-time. I learned a lot at both places.
My favorite class this year was my oil painting class at the art school. We worked a lot on colors and values and how to make a painting interesting with different techniques. I did a few things for the class that didn’t have boobs, and I hope Minn’da will hang them up either in the offices or in the home. They’re just bowls of fruit and plants and stuff. She won’t hang up the boob ones.
My favorite class for general studies was history. I especially like putting on the play at the end of the year, but I guess she gives us grades for that in a lot of the subjects. We make our own props, write our own lines (with Miss Lali’s help), and we make sure it’s historically accurate. My favorite line was “Loktar ogar! Fight me demon!” I was an orc, so I got to yell it.
Lukian got to play a part too even though he was finishing his year in Silvermoon. It wasn’t too much for him to learn a couple of lines so that he could be included. It was a good opportunity for him to meet the others in the class, though I guess Kiandris and I hang out a lot so he had already met him. I think Lukian’s excited about starting classes here in the fall.
The play was about the battle for Mount Hyjal. It was a time when all the races of Kalimdor came together to defeat a big demon who defiled a tree. Malwen got to use her turtle as a wisp to finally defeat the demon. Felarius was the demon. He seemed to enjoy it.
My plans for the summer are to not do too much. I will paint a lot and show Lukian my cards. Maybe I can get Ann’da to get me more cards too. I’d like to get some of the ones about the people of Outland.
My other Ann’da, Isturon, is in Outland now. I think he’s there because his ex-wife is in town. She doesn’t like me. She thinks I’m making up who I am, but I don’t who else she thinks I could be. I won’t call her my mother because she doesn’t act like one. Minn’da is the best and has been making sure she doesn’t come back into the house part too much, so I can just stay here while she’s out in the office area. I hope she leaves soon. I don’t understand why she thinks she has to spend almost every day here.
Anyway, that’s my thoughts on the year and my plans for the summer and I hope I get a good grade!
Braedra and I have been in the Outlands for about two weeks now. Things have been quiet and nice here. I’m able to relax, mostly. The last I knew, Verisna was still in the Ghostlands. Hethurin is supposed to let me know when it’s safe to return. He, of all people, should understand, and I doubt he wants Braedra and me to spend even a minute longer than we need to out here together, though he does seem to be accepting it a bit.
It’s occurred to me that I’ve never really had to pursue someone before. I’m used to getting more signs that someone’s interested. I guess that’s a side-effect of getting old. I’m not as handsome as I used to be. Being here instead of the Ghostlands has given me the opportunity to focus on her without distraction, and I think things are going fairly well. Again, she’s hard to read sometimes.
I think a lot of how slow we’re moving has to do with me, and there are multiple reasons. The first reason is, again, I’m not used to having to pursue someone. Making the first move isn’t something I’ve normally done. Secondly, I want to hold off until I’ve told her more about my past, specifically, about the times I cheated on Verisna while we were still married. Third, and I don’t like admitting it no matter how true it is, I’m afraid. I haven’t had anything work out before really. I tried with Verisna, and eventually, I had to give up. Nothing I did was good enough. I have to check myself from thinking that with Braedra. Sometimes I wonder if she’s just not happy with me and that’s why she doesn’t seem very interested. I have to remind myself that she’s here with me, and that shows some interest.
It helps that we have spent a couple of nights together. Nothing really happened then either, but it was nice to be close to her. The first time was in Shadowmoon, though I was too nervous there to really appreciate it. We went there to see the dragons. Hethurin had assured me that, although we might see infernals falling from the sky, the inn was infernal-proof. I was surprised to discover that he had lied. The inn showed signs of multiple repairs to the roof, and I had gotten a room on the top floor with a large balcony with a great view of the dragons. I was up all night worried. She stayed with me but fell asleep on the couch. I covered her with a blanket and sat by the balcony door in a chair. I might have slept an hour or so, but I know it wasn’t very much. I kept watching. I knew I wouldn’t have time to do much if one came towards us, but there are some protection spells I can use with the Light. My plan was to use one of them, and if it didn’t work, I hoped it would kill me and not her. I was ready to give her every protection I could. Luckily, I didn’t have to. No infernals fell that night.
The second time we shared a room was at the domes. Again, nothing happened, and we wound up both sleeping on the couch where we had been kissing. I touched her ears. Maybe I could have touched more. Maybe I should have touched more. Arancon would have told me I should have touched more.
But I still need to tell her about things I’ve done in the past.
I’m trying not to fall too hard for her because of that. She’ll leave me after I tell her. I could just not tell her. I don’t think it’s relevant, but Arancon might stop talking to me if I don’t tell her. He seemed to think I should just air it all out. I don’t even really think of it as being a bad thing, but then, if it’s not a bad thing, then why can’t I tell her?
I should wait until Verisna leaves the Ghostlands. I don’t want Braedra to leave and go back and have to deal with that harpy. I just hope the harpy is leaving her kids alone.
If someone asked me a year ago if I thought I would ever remarry, my answer would have been no. Yet, here I am, on the island with Anorelle, my wife. She said she feels like she’s dreaming, and I’ll admit, I can hardly believe it myself. She means so much to me even though we’ve only been together for a couple of months. I adore her so much even though things are still very new between us.
I did bring up the talk about children before we came here. Or maybe she brought it up. She seemed to be headed that direction, so I followed through. I wanted to make sure she knew that she might not be able to have any with me. Then again, it might have been Maena. All I know is that in over a century of being together, we only had one kid. Of course, if it happened now with Anorelle, I would be thrilled. I had hoped to have three or four when I was younger, maybe because I hated being an only child. Another one or two now would be nice.
If it happens, it happens. That’s what we’ve decided.
The room here is really great. The bath is heart-shaped and big enough for two, and they have all these different soaps and things. They got my letter about my request for non-alcoholic beverages in the mini-bar in the room. Oh, and the bed vibrates. We tried it, of course, but it was kind of weird. There was also a complimentary ‘toy box’ with a few adult items in it. We tried a couple. It was fun.
Today, we plan to go to the beach. We plan to take a lunch with us so we can eat there, then eat supper later at one of the restaurants, or maybe we’ll just come back to the inn and eat in our room. There’s also a goblin inventions show going on in one of the buildings and we’ll be going to that too. I think it sounds interesting.
We also have to take time to go see the Sunwell at some point. I’ve also noticed boats out in the water, but they seem to come back into the harbor at night, so I’m wondering if they just do little day trips with maybe some diving or something. I’ll have to make some inquiries. I bet the staff at the inn would know.
Before coming here, I had my cast taken off, which is nice because I don’t have to use my left hand to do everything anymore. Isturon was there when I went in to have it off, which I guess has been rare lately. He disappeared for a week, and he said he was about to leave again. At least this time he’s taking Braedra with him. His ex-wife is in town, I guess to see their kids or something, and he doesn’t want to run into her so he said he was going to Shattrath!
He said he spent the past week in Silvermoon helping a friend. He hadn’t told anyone where he was going, so I’m not sure I believe him. Maybe he was off cheating on Braedra already. I hope he wasn’t. He still hasn’t told her he cheated on his wife. I may not be perfect either, but at least I’m honest about my mistakes.
Aeramin also came to see me before we left and agreed to come along to go to the wedding chapel with us. He said he was also going on a trip, but he had to grade papers on his. I guess he did essay questions for the final exams and now he has to read them all. I asked him why he gave questions like that if he didn’t want to read so much, and he just shrugged. I don’t think he’s feeling great yet, but I’m really happy he was able to be at the wedding. I’m also glad that Imralion’s looking out for him and taking him on a trip to relax a little while he reads all the tests.
He told me that he and Imralion would be at the party when we got back, which I’m looking forward to, but at the same time, I don’t want this trip to end too quickly. I want to savor every moment with Anorelle and really have a wonderful time.