Monthly Archives: January 2011
A lot has happened since I’ve last wrote. I regret not having had more time to write.
I didn’t get everything I was thinking down last time, so I guess I will continue with that. I am more than just okay. Being in my condition really changes your perspective on a lot of things. If I had lived, my life now would be as an apprentice druid, probably in Darkshore. I would possibly be fully dead due to the massive destruction there by the recent cataclysm. I doubt I would have met Tathariel if I had survived the cataclysm. If I had met Tathariel, it would have been under completely different circumstances, and I would no doubt have a completely different mindset. My Shan’do did not take female students, for more than one reason, most of which was he didn’t approve of females studying druidism. My experiences in the past couple years have opened up my mind to more possibilities.
I am a different person, and that’s not a bad thing.
Of course there have been negative effects as well, but now that I have had time to think about it, I’m sure that the positive outweigh the negative.
I had to stop writing last time as Tathariel’s father snuck up on me. Typical druid… He had a few things to say. One of the things he said surprised me. He would like to think of me as a son. I’m not sure how to treat him as a father as I’ve never known my own. Terivanis had served as my older male role model, up until a couple years ago. It makes me wonder if my father would have rejected me had he known me. I am glad Tathariel’s father accepts me as I am.
Again, a lot has happened since then. I’ve been arguing with Jaeyn. He’s infuriating in his stubbornness. I wish he would change his mind about the twilight cultists’ boxes. They should have never been brought into Darnassus. Last night they brought it to a vote again. How did he think they were going to vote? He has the power to overrule the vote. He didn’t even have to put it to vote. He could have just told them no. I will have no part in it. If he wants to wreak more havoc on Ashenvale then it will be on his conscious. I did what I could to get him to change his mind, short of using force, which I don’t think would have worked anyway.
After the meeting, they began to make their preparations to move the boxes. Tathariel and I left Darnassus. We went to Ironforge. I kept going over it all again and again in my mind, trying to think of what else I could have said to have gotten through to him. I don’t think there is anything.
Today we went to Moonglade to check on the vines. I will need to write to Sakia to let her know that it looks like they have improved greatly and I will not need any further assistance from her. Hopefully she will get the idea and stop asking about it. I think she’s just trying to get me to ask for more help so that I’ll owe her more. However she did mention following a couple leads in her last letter, maybe she has some genuine interest in helping. Maybe I should leave out the part about not needing further assistance. We do need to discover who is behind it, and perhaps she can help. I will need to make up my mind on this soon.
I don’t trust her. She’s a death knight.
Tathariel and I went to Winterspring after Moonglade. We needed to check on the moonkin there to see if their condition had improved. I can’t say they have. They are still transfixed on their strange “monuments” to different animal spirits. Tathariel pointed out that their animal “shrines” (I have no idea what to call these things!), are to the bird, doe and bear, all parts of the moonkin. The injured orc that was there last time, seemed to still be there. And still be alive. I wonder if some strange magic is keeping him alive? We found a dead owlkin near another that seemed agitated. We couldn’t get close enough to tell how it died, but we could see that there was blood, and it died rather recently. There also seemed to be less moonkin in the area than there was before. It could be they are killing each other or the goblins have continued to offer a bounty for them. I would believe the latter more readily than the first, but after seeing the one dead near the other, I am not sure.
Tathariel and I had spoken of traveling to Hyjal last night. This whole time I was wearing my armor. Of course I looked like a freak in Moonglade. There was no one else to see us in Winterspring. Upon arriving in Hyjal I was glad to see 3-4 other death knights working with the wardens there. It made me a little less apprehensive of them. All the same, I let Tathariel ask them where help was needed most. They may be accepting all help, but I’m pretty sure some of them still sneer at what they would normally not work with. I didn’t care to deal with that and looked the other way while she asked.
I had never seen Hyjal before. Nordrassil is beautiful. Ysera was there in the building under the tree. Being that I am what I am, I did not approach her. The druids surrounding her looked quite powerful and they would perhaps mistake my intentions if I had moved closer to see her better.
Tathariel learned that the Hyjal wardens were looking for help with the cultists in the south. We made our way down there, finding one camp full of ogre cultists. There were twilight drakes flying overhead. We made our way carefully to the front of the buildings and went inside each one. We found two large boxes, identical to the ones found in Darkshore except they were much bigger. We left them there. I doubt we could have carried them even if we had wanted to, which we didn’t. We snuck out of the ogre’s encampment and made our way to another area, passing what we believe may have been some twilight cult students, judging by their attire. The other encampment was mostly abandoned. There were more of the strange boxes there of assorted sizes. As well there were some strange wheel shaped objects. There was a transparent round part that turned around a central part. It had strange markings on it. Next to this there were some odd lantern shaped objects, a book with strange writing, and a scroll with more strange writing. Tathariel copied some of it into her notes before we continued looking around. We found barrels and boxes, probably with food and drink for the students and instructors. At the last tent we came across a very strange construct that is hard to describe. It was tall and long, and seemed almost mechanical. Perhaps all the gnome students had been working on something.
There were also some strange hanging cages in the area. I wonder if the “keys” the Kaldorei Shan’re were planning to steal are to open the strange boxes or if they’re something much simpler like a keys for a cage lock.
The good news is, I didn’t see any faceless ones there. Which is a relief to say the least.
We plan to write to one of the mages in the Kaldorei Shan’re and see if they can lend some aid without alerting the others. Hopefully we can figure this out without playing with things we don’t understand.
A few days ago, I wrote that I wouldn’t have went to the Plaguelands had I known what would happen. While that is still true, I have been doing some thinking on it, thanks to Tathariel.
Last night she asked me if I was okay. My immediate thought was, “How can she think I could ever be okay? I’m dead. That’s not exactly my definition of okay. I can never truly be okay, simply due to the fact I have no heartbeat and I only breathe out of habit.” I told her, more gently than I was thinking it. Still, she did not seem to be able to understand how I couldn’t be okay and dead at the same time.
We spoke about it a bit longer. If I wasn’t dead, I’d still be in my studies as a druid. We probably would not have met, and if we had, I would probably be a vastly different person. The experiences I’ve had over the past couple years have affected me greatly. Before, I was on my way to becoming a stuffy druid. Yes, one of those.
Now that I’ve had more time to think about it, it’s even possible I would have been in Auberdine when it was destroyed.
More later, I see someone I need to talk to!
Part of me is in disbelief. The other part is the happiest elf on Azeroth. Tathariel has agreed to be my life-mate. I spoke to her about it last night. By Elune, I was scared she would say no.
We went to the Eastern Kingdoms and checked on the moonwell in Duskwood. It looked like it was fine. It was tranquil there, but disconcerting for me. A direct portal to the dream is in that grove. We went back to Stormwind to stay at the inn there for the night. A bed, at last. I felt more comfortable there and was able to talk to her without distraction.
I still can’t believe it. I never thought it possible to be this happy.
Unfortunately, not much time to write today, more tomorrow!
There was a meeting last night. The box, the one that my brother ever so wisely brought from the twilight camp in Darkshore to Darnassus, was the main topic of discussion. I will not change my mind. We must rid ourselves of it before something happens. We don’t know what it does or what it is. And they bring it back to a populated city to endanger the innocents here? I don’t think the idea to move it to Ashenvale is much better. It could end up corrupting the very area they believe is safe from corruption. The anger I felt at the meeting had caused me to speak up and voice my opinion. I dislike speaking in front of those whom may condemn me for what I am.
I feel like our kind will never learn from our mistakes. I doubt the highborne of the past knew what they were doing when they played around with the Well of Eternity.
My brother, Jaeyn. Sometimes words can’t describe how much I wish to disown him. He is infuriating, speaking nonsense half the time. I don’t understand him. I won’t pretend to. Sometimes I think he does it on purpose, others, well it’s not genetic so he must have bumped his head a few too many times. I know he can act perfectly fine. But then there’s times you would expect him to act normal and he just doesn’t…
Of course this in itself should immediately disqualify him from being on my list of people that I can talk to about women and take seriously. Not women just one woman. Unfortunately, he is the only other male that I trust enough and can talk to about things.
I did try speaking to my sister. I got a lecture. I should wait longer, be more patient. That is her answer to nearly everything. I half expected it. I expected the rest of the lecture as well, although I wasn’t aware she knew so much.
But then Jaeyn says the same. Except that he goes on to add that women are evil and he would never see me again. Of course he says this while chewing on raw meat and spitting it out claiming it’s gone bad.
I have to take into consideration that I know he’s got my back. More than once he has put an arrow in something that was about to put a sword into me from behind. Is it another case of him watching my back?
And why did he mention orc biting?
Yesterday, I went to Moonglade. It is strange going there now. I had not been there before last year, despite the Lunar Festival being centered there every year. Last year I attended in full plate armor. I felt their accusing eyes, watching me carefully the entire time I was there. This year, I attended in plain clothing, with my engineering goggles. I’m just a simple Kaldorei with an interest in engineering, nothing more.
Without the glaring stares of the druids of the Cenarion Circle, I was left to think of other things. Mostly. My shimmering light in the darkness, Tathariel, was with me. She had brought with her Naelaedra, her Highborn friend. Aerandril, a worgen, also followed us. The young ladies began speaking of clothing and an elf that Naelaedra is interested in. Aerandril began speaking to another female in the area. I was left to let my thoughts wander. As I held Tathariel’s hand, I gazed out over the lake Elune’ara, towards Nighthaven on the other side, a town full of druids. I began to wonder what would have been if I had not been captured in the Plaguelands.
I had just begun my druid training six months prior to my first field work. It is rare to send one so inexperienced to do practical training, but my Shan’do felt I was ready. I was interested in going having heard of the grave plague that affected not only the animals of the region but the plants as well. If I could have helped just one plant it would have been worth it. I went with him and another of his students, making the long journey from Auberdine in Darkshore to Light’s Hope Chapel in the Eastern Plaguelands. We passed briefly through Stormwind, our Shan’do not allowing us out of his sight while there. He had little trust for humans in general but was even more wary of those in the city. We traveled North using an underground tram to get to Ironforge and from there, traveling on foot through the Wetlands. It was quite the adventure for a young elf who had never been out of Auberdine.
I feel so much older now.
If I had known what laid in store for us, I would not have gone, but there is no way to know the future. There is no way to change the past.
I sat there and thought, the whole time being interrupted mentally by Naelaedra’s incessant musings about the elf she had met. When Aerandril began playing a violin, I decided I needed a walk. Tathariel was enjoying Naelaedra’s company, but I had promised her father I would make sure they were safe. There was a vicious dog that wandered the south-eastern banks of the lake.
I had promised.
Naelaedra and Tathariel began speaking of gifts for the elf. The worgen picked up speed in his song he was playing. No , they were safe where they were. Aerandril had brought his sword. I had not. Certainly he was more prepared to defend them than I was. I had chosen a spot far back from the dangerous area as well.
They would be safe.
I arose from where I had been sitting next to Tathariel, and was immediately met with the questions. I was honest in answering. A walk was all I needed. She had already asked about what I was thinking earlier, there was no need to go into that again. She offered to come with me, but I did not want to disrupt her conversation with her friend. A walk alone is what I really needed. I told her I would be fine and would return soon.
I thought of buying some moonglow, a light alcoholic drink served only during the Lunar Festival. I walked towards the main venue for the party, then passed by it. It did not affect me last year. There would be no reason it would affect me now.
I was nearing the town, but not intending to go in it, I turned to head back. That’s when I saw the small whelpling I knew to belong to Tathariel’s father. I neared the tree that it hovered near to find her father, Ornasse, sitting near it behind a bush. I bowed deeply, hoping I had not disturbed him. He stood and immediately began to grill me over where Tathariel was and why I had left her.
I had promised.
I answered his questions, assuring him that she was safe. I was not ready to go back to listen to the females discuss what color dress they planned to wear tomorrow. After it seemed that he accepted that she was indeed safe, I asked to sit. It could not hurt to speak with him for some time. We were perhaps off to a rocky start based solely on what I am, and what he is. Tathariel is a younger druid, more accepting and open minded. Ornasse is much older.
And then there is me, the death knight, an undead monster that should not exist.
I must really love her.
I want him to accept me. I do not expect he will ever like me much, but I want him to know I am not what he has heard. Most death knights can fully fit into the preconceptions most people have of them. Many do not remember who they were before, not fully at least. Many do not remember what they did while not in control of their own actions. A great many lack feelings, finding enjoyment only in the misery of others.
It was not easy to sit beside him and admit to having fear, regret and sadness. I can only hope he sees I am more like him than not.