It has been some time since I last wrote. I believe the last time I wrote, I was preparing to go to the Eastern Kingdoms with Shan’do Maerran Rainwalker and one of his more advanced students, Dinadrian Boughtender. I remember being nervous about the trip.
A lot has happened since then.
The trip did not go as planned. We were captured and tortured by cultists. Mother, I was so scared. I thought I would never see home again. They asked me if I wanted to be immortal again. I said yes. I’m so sorry. They killed us. I don’t remember dying but I am technically dead. The other student and I were brought back as death knights. I had no freewill. I was told to duel Dinadrian to the death, and I did. I was told to use Shan’do Maerran’s remains to make a ghoul, and I did. I was told to go into the town and slaughter everything that moved, and I did.
I spent about 6 months like that. I silently wished for it to all end, but I was unable to stop it. Then we were told to attack Light’s Hope Chapel.
A large number of death knights regained their free will there. I was one of them. I had a very difficult time accepting what I had become and what I had done. They let me stay there for a bit, along with some of the others. They kept a close watch on us, both because they thought us still dangerous—Which I cannot blame them much for, as some death knights completely lack feelings, don’t remember who they are, or sometimes I think even enjoy being what they’ve become. But, they also didn’t want us to destroy ourselves. I’m not quite sure why they worked to keep us from committing suicide. No, I do know. For their purposes, we were defectors of the scourge. We knew their enemy better than they did. They needed us.
They tolerate us now that the Lich King is dead.
After about a week, I felt okay enough to leave. I tried to go home. In retrospect, that wasn’t a good idea. Elves have serious problems with undead people, even if they’re not bad undead people. I’m not bad. I never meant to kill. I wasn’t in control then. But people didn’t accept me. No matter what I do, I’ll never be fully accepted anywhere because I am undead.
Kelanori and Terivanis had moved to Darnassus. Do you remember I wrote to you and told you about the tree the druids grew off the coast of Darkshore? Darnassus is the city there now. I went there. People disagreed with me being there. I wound up in a fight. I didn’t start it. I found Kelanori and Terivanis. Neither of them would even talk to me.
Jaeyn did accept me, without hesitation. I decided that I would join the Ebon Blade and fight in Northrend. Jaeyn went with me, and although he couldn’t join the Ebon Blade, we still wound up working with each other fairly often.
Mother, I was never meant to be a soldier. I hated it. But during those two years in Northrend, I hated myself as well. I kept hoping something would end it all for me. Somehow I managed to survive.
Kelanori began writing to me during that time. After the Lich King fell, she encouraged Jaeyn and I to return to Darnassus. I did so, but much more carefully than before. I wore cowls and robes. I began making frequent trips to Stormwind where I found some gnomes that sell engineering schematics. I’ve since made colored goggles to cover my eyes. Being a death knight and being preserved at the moment I was raised, combined with the fact that I wasn’t dead that long, gives me the advantage of being able to pass for a living person. I haven’t rotted. I don’t stink. I just need to cover my eyes, remember to breathe and not touch anyone so they won’t notice I don’t produce my own body heat. Some people knew, quite enough knew actually, mostly those that lived near Kelanori. But enough didn’t know that I was able to go mostly unnoticed.
Earthquakes started, and a few weeks later, Deathwing emerged. Auberdine has been completely destroyed. There are changes in other places too. Some of the changes have been good. The Plaguelands are beginning to truly recover. It’s such a wonderful thing to see.
I’ve met the most wonderful female. Her name is Tathariel. Her father is a druid and her mother is a sentinel. Tath is also a druid. She’s truly amazing. I wish you could meet her. She loves me for who I am, and doesn’t care about what I am. I asked her to be my mate, and she said yes. We live together in Desolace now.
I have not taken arms in the fight against the twilight cultists and Deathwing. I’m not a good soldier. I’ve decided it’s best for me to try to learn druidism again. It’s not easy like it was before, but I truly feel I will be of more use helping Azeroth heal than trying to fight. Tathariel’s father, Ornasse Evershade, has agreed to be my shan’do. Terivanis, whom has only recently begun to speak to me again, has agreed to assist where he can.
I’m writing this while catching some fresh fish to attract the bear spirit. I learned it before. I hope I can again.
The biggest news is that you’re a grandmother. Tathariel and I have adopted a baby boy named Relanos. He’s about six months old, well probably about seven now. He’s adorable. Sometimes he’s a bit cranky but he’s still getting teeth. I’m sure you would love him.
I’ve been wondering about some things. I know I will minimize any absences from home. I don’t want to be away from him for too long. He needs me.
You were gone a lot.
Terivanis once said you were embarrassed about us, but he’s really good at saying mean things. I guess you’re the only one that really knows.
I still love you even if you were.
I think I have enough fish. Wish me luck!
Love from your son,
(( He folds the paper into the shape of a boat, and places it in the water before wrapping up the fish and making his way in-land. ))