- Everything at the school is going well. I’m really glad to be teaching again too. I’m not trying to rush them through their work, but there is a certain amount of material I wanted to cover this semester, and I know there won’t be time for it all. Maybe I can work it into the plans for next semester.
- If I could, I’d take them with me to other timelines and just teach them there. I’ve been going for two weeks at a time, but I’m only gone a few seconds here. That would be a great way to cram a couple of months worth of material into a just a few weeks. I don’t think I’m allowed to do that though.
- I have more official stuff to fill out for that art school in Silvermoon. They want to know everything! The only thing that might not check out is the general studies teacher. I guess Raleth asked me the night of the mask party, but I had a little much to drink then. He brought Lali with him. I think it was her first time here. Anyway, I agreed to hire her as the teacher. I don’t know how much she knows about sin’dorei history or math or anything, but Raleth assured me that she can do it. I suppose I can ask my students to help. They’re already helping Vaildor.
- I need to remember to ask the Confessor if he knows of any other young people at any of the other estates in the area. The general education classes should be free, so everyone from the area is welcome to enroll. I’ve filled out the papers necessary for the Spire to get Silvermoon to help fund it. I did get a letter back saying that they’re pleased with someone opening a school in the Ghostlands, and they’re planning to expedite my request. I think that’s a good sign!
- On a completely unrelated matter, no one believes me that eggs hatch into chickens. I’m going to make sure Lali teaches basic biology. Everyone should know that!
- The room for the general classes is coming along well. Unfortunately, the new hallway to it is next to my study. They had to take out the wall where the side door is, and it’s a bit chilly now. Okay, more than a bit. It’s freezing! Anyway, my office gets cold a lot. Des suggested I could ask Aeramin for his hot rocks. I didn’t laugh, but I think he would if I asked him that. Terellion wants to bring me tea. I don’t want him to really. It’s my study and it’s the only place I can work, and if he starts bringing me tea in there, then maybe he’s going to want to stay in there, and I’m so weak around him.
- I’ve been trying to go to bed earlier than him, and waking up earlier. A lot of times I do succeed. I know I have to talk to him about it. I just keep feeling worse and worse about it. I just don’t know what to say though. I can’t make him stay with me if he doesn’t want to stay. I keep trying to forget that, and try to appreciate that he’s here now, but it gnaws at the back of my mind constantly. I can’t forget that he doesn’t want to make a commitment to stay together, and it hurts. It hurts when I see him, or when I think of him. It hurts all the time.
- That’s why I’ve been fishing a lot. I know it’s a big advantage for me to be able to just go off for two weeks and then return to the same point I was when I left. I think Tik is starting to question what we’re going to do with all the fish. A couple of times I was gone longer than two weeks, but I’m worried that Renner won’t let me and will stop teaching me if I do that a lot. I’m surprised he hasn’t said anything about the frequency. I’m not supposed to spend a lot of time in one place, but he never said anything about restrictions on how often I could go, so I guess it must be okay.
- Anyway, I go and I think about it, and I think I’m okay with it all again. Then I come back and it starts all over again the moment I see him. I keep telling myself to enjoy that he’s here, and well, things are very enjoyable with him, but then I feel bad after. That’s when I feel the worst. Like why do we do that if he isn’t going to stay. Oh, but then he says he isn’t leaving. I know he’s young, but what does that have to do with marriage? Does he think he’s too young, and he’ll change his mind when he’s older? That hurts too.
- I knew it was a mistake. I should have never looked at him in the first place. He’s younger than some of my students. He’s too young to know what he wants, and I love him too much to send him away.
- I think I need to go fishing again.
Monthly Archives: November 2014
Your ears are like arrows pointing to the moons–
“What is that supposed to mean?”
Sunashe put his pen down and looked at his friend, Arancon. “It means she has nice ears.”
“It sounds like her ears are about to shoot the moon. It doesn’t even make sense. Try something else.”
Sunashe sighed and crumpled up the paper. He started again on a new sheet.
“You know, you should try using ‘dearest’.”
Sunashe flicked an ear as he looked up again. “Why? I thought ‘dear’ was nice, and it’s not over-doing it.”
“It lets her know she’s the dearest, just not one of the dears.”
“Just how many dears do you think I have?”
Arancon shrugged. “Right now? None. If you want to change that, you have to let her know that she’s the one.”
Sunashe frowned in thought before picking up the pen again and crowding in ‘est’ after ‘Dear’.
“You should make it look good too.”
“I’ll write it over again when I’m done composing it. That way I won’t waste a hundred pieces of paper.”
Arancon nodded and took a bite of his sandwich as Sunashe looked back down at his paper. He started writing the next line.
Your ears are like arrows released in the forest at midnight.
Arancon raised a brow. “That’s no better than before.”
“It doesn’t make sense. You’re still not conveying that you think her ears are nice.”
“Well, this was supposed to go with the other part. It was supposed to be, ‘Your ears are like arrows pointing to the moons that are released in the forest at midnight.’ It makes more sense that way right? So I should put the whole thing after all.”
Arancon looked at Sunashe a moment before shaking his head, “No, it doesn’t really get the meaning across.”
“So what am I supposed to write?”
“It has to come from you, but it really should make sense.”
“I’m trying to be romantic!”
Arancon tried not to laugh, “I think you’re trying too hard. Just tell her how you feel. Forget about trying to make it sound poetic for now.”
Sunashe frowned. The others had told him that girls liked things like that. “Fine, but you have to stop looking.” He waited until Arancon carried his lunch to another rock to sit on. He crossed off the first sentence, and started writing again.
I think your ears are pretty great, and I really like dancing with you. I’m nervous a bit because I know you’ve had an offer, and there’s no way I could ever match all that gold, but if gold is all you want then I suppose he’ll be better for you, and I want you to be happy above anything else.
If you’re like me, then you know there’s other things besides gold. I share some interests with you. We both love the forest. I really like your moth too. We’re both rangers and we both share a love of archery. I love dancing with you, which has the added benefit of being able to hold you. I’m afraid to tell you these things to your face, as I’ll just sound like the ones who came before me, the ones who hurt you. I want you to know I’m not like that. I would never hurt you. You mean too much to me.
I was hoping you would want to go camping with me soon. Maybe in Outland. Let me know what you think.
I love you.