Aeramin’s Notes

  • I did it. I put a hole in our roof. To make it look good, I put a hole through the stairs too. That way it looks like it came from the basement. I’ve been telling everyone I forgot to ward the stairway because I didn’t think I’d be practicing that way, but I miscalculated a spell and it wound up going through the stairs and right out the top of the roof.
  • So we needed a place to stay while we wait for it to get fixed. I asked Hethurin and he gave me a lecture on being careful with fire magic. I’m an instructor, I shouldn’t be carelessly burning my house down. I pointed out that the house wasn’t burned down. There’s just a hole in the roof. He said it was the same thing. I said I disagreed because the house is still there. He wanted to know how I had control over where the fire spread if I had miscalculated and had it go the wrong direction. I just shrugged, and he continued to lecture me. I let him. I can’t tell him that’s what I meant to do!
  • I had to ask him for a room, and I guess the school is really full right now. Im and I are going to take a corner in the ballroom. Tik set up a temporary bed for us there. There’s a toilet right across the hall, but we have to go upstairs to use the bath. The ballroom windows, and there’s a lot of them, aren’t very well covered, but we set up some dividers so we have some privacy around our bed.
  • Hethurin offered to ask the workers to work on my house next, but I told him I had already talked to Ordinicus and he said they could do it during some of the downtime. There’s times when you need to let cement dry, or paint dry, or other things like that before you can continue working, so they’ll have the opportunity to stop by and see then. I’m hoping it won’t be too soon, but not too late either. I’ll go work on it myself if it’s well into summer and hasn’t been fixed yet.
  • All this to watch a kid from Murder Row. However, I’d be lying if I didn’t think he could be very dangerous. At the same time, I want to believe what he’s told me, and that he’s just here for food. Of course, keeping a close eye on him isn’t a bad idea. Now that I’ll be staying at the school, I’ll have plenty of time to follow him around, and since he’s posing as a student, I can easily pretend I’m trying to tutor him in fire magic theory. At least, until Hethurin figures out he has no money to pay for the summer semester and asks him to leave.
  • In other news, Imralion is still thinking about looking for a girlfriend. I’ve asked Keyalenn if his parents know of any social little parties going on in Silvermoon soon, and he came back to me with a whole list of them. I’m trying to stay out of it as much as I can. Imralion’s the one looking, not me. However, I am trying to coach him into being a little more confident. I think women tend to like confident men more, and he’s not going to meet anyone if he’s too scared to talk to them.
  • I want him to be happy, but I’m wondering if it’s coming at the expense of my own happiness. He keeps talking about having a girlfriend, and then maybe in a few years having a baby. I don’t know how he expects me to be able to do that. How can I take care of someone else’s child when mine can’t live with me? I suppose it was my decision to give her away, but I don’t think he would have stayed if I wanted to keep her, and at the time, it was too much of a shock to me to even consider it. Funny thing is, he feels strongly about making sure I go to see her, which I don’t mind, but she doesn’t do much yet except vomit on my hair. Anyway, he doesn’t want anything to do with her himself. I don’t know how that’s going to help things when she’s older and starts asking questions. She’s just going to think I preferred staying with a guy who wants nothing to do with her, rather than having her around.
  • I guess that’s kind of what happened though. It’s the truth. I don’t think there’s any way that she’s going to end up not hating me after all of this. Yet I’m somehow expected to forget about that, and raise his baby, but still go visit her.
  • I’m just not feeling good about any of this. I mean, the whole thing with the girlfriend is going to be tricky from the start. What if he likes her more? What if I get moved to the second bedroom every night? At first, I thought I’d be okay with it, but now I’m not sure. I keep thinking I’ll end up being the third wheel, and then it would just get more awkward if they had a baby.
  • But at the same time, I want him to be happy. I can’t say no because he’d hold that against me forever.
  • I don’t think it’s going to end well for me. I’ve been left before. I guess I can handle it again, but I’d rather not.
  • I don’t have anyone to talk to about this. I could tell the Confessor, but I don’t know if he’d really understand. He’d probably just say I should talk to Im about it, but again, that will just be me saying no, and I don’t want to do that. I want him to be happy, and if he’s happier with a girl, then I’ll have to deal with that when it comes. So I guess I kind of have a plan to wait and see, but that doesn’t stop the worry.
  • I guess I could try talking to Arancon. He’s done nothing but agree with me the last few times I’ve gone to see him.
  • The last thing I wanted to mention is that I’ve gone back to Silvermoon and confirmed with Julan that he’ll come dance. We have the date now, so I gave him a couple pieces of gold for advance pay. I just hope Imralion doesn’t ask Julan how he knows me. Maybe I could give Julan a few more silver to keep his mouth shut and just dance.
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