Things aren’t going so well. Lin didn’t know if she wants to be with me or not anymore. I asked her because she seemed so unhappy with me, and thought she’d laugh and say no, but she said she didn’t know instead. I’m kind of glad she told me before the ball. It would have been much worse, and very embarrassing, to find out with all those people around.
She hates Blinky. I guess she’s jealous of him or something. I thought she understood that I needed to train him. I do spend a lot of time on that. He’s not like a cat or a dragonhawk. He needs more time to learn a command. If I don’t train him, I’ll just have a useless lizard. I offered to get rid of him and get a pre-trained dragonhawk like most rangers do when they want an animal companion. She said no. I thought it was special because we went together to get the lizard and the moth. I guess it wasn’t so great for her.
I tried talking to the others about it. I even told the Captain and Ty about the ring. I had gone into the city yesterday morning to cancel the order, but they had it done already. Since I had paid in advance to have it ready on the day of the ball, and it was already done, I just wound up taking it back to the Ghostlands. I carried it around while cleaning out the spider cave. It only made me feel worse.
I spoke with Arancon about it first. Even though he’s about 100 years older than me, we’ve become good friends. He told me that women say crazy things sometimes, and I should just forget about it. He thought I should have went camping with her when she asked. From what he’s said about his Maena, I think she might have actually been crazy. Well, I guess she was for sure towards the end, but I think she might have been earlier too. Anyway, I’ve already tried to forget it, but her words keep echoing in my head. I don’t know.
Over and over.
I couldn’t keep the ring. Every time I thought about it being in my pocket, I just heard her say she didn’t know again. I showed it to the Captain and Ty, then I threw it in the river near the ranger building. I didn’t want it around me anymore to remind me that everything was definitely not as great as I had thought it was.
It seems no one understands how I feel. I kept trying to talk about it with Ty and the Captain, but they only seemed concerned that I try to make Linarelle happy. As if I haven’t been trying the past half year. I thought things were going great, and that was shattered when she said she didn’t know. Anything I said about me being upset seemed to be ignored.
She didn’t try to talk to me all day yesterday, not even to help train Blinky. She’ll be happy without me.
I left early this morning. There’s really no point in waiting for her to decide she doesn’t want me. She was there before me, and I figured I should go before things get awkward. I asked the Captain to put in a transfer request for me to Eversong, but I’m pretty sure that request wouldn’t have ever been sent, so I threw my stuff in my bag while it was still dark out, and went to the school. I waited outside for a bit while it got lighter. It was nice watching the sunrise at the sea. I knocked when I was sure someone was awake to answer the door. The butler answered and took me to the mage who was eating breakfast in the kitchen. I asked for a portal to Shattrath, and told him I didn’t need a portal back. He asked if I was sure, so I told him I had things to do, and didn’t know when I’d be ready to come back. He told me I’d probably be able to find a mage for a portal home at the library. I nodded. He made the portal and now I’m here.
I had Blinky with me so my first concern was finding him a new home. He probably wouldn’t be able to survive on his own now. I wasn’t sure where to start looking for an animal caretaker so I just wandered around the Lower City for a bit. I didn’t see anything there so I started heading back to the Scryer’s Tier to inquire about getting a room at the inn for the night. I hadn’t reached the elevator when a draenei with a large moth walked by me. The moth fluttered beside him, evenly matching his moving speed. I approached him and asked him about the moth in my poorly spoken common. I was lucky he understood. He said he trained it on his own, and that he has a stable of animals at his home. I asked him if he had ever trained a warpstalker, and showed him Blinky. He was impressed how I had taught him to follow without a leash at his age. Then I told him I needed to find a new home for him, and he agreed to take him.
I don’t know what’s next. I’m staying here for the night, then I’ll probably go off and explore or something. Hopefully I’ll find something that can occupy my mind so that I can let her go. Something to make me forget what she said, and what I thought I had.