Lanthiriel’s Diary

Dear Diary,

It’s been a while since I’ve written.  I guess I shouldn’t feel any guilt over it because this isn’t really for anyone but me.  A lot has happened since I last wrote.  I did something horrible, switching my name to be the one going in my father’s place for the siege of Orgrimmar.  I’m back now, and still in one piece, though healing fresh war injuries still gives me nightmares, especially Nessna.  I keep having dreams where things turned out differently, and I lost her.

I’ve moved too.  My brother was kind enough to fix up one of the houses standing vacant on his estate.  It’s near the stable, and isn’t very big.  Tik said that it used to be the home of the man who worked to care for the animals in the stable.  I swear, the stable is bigger, though it’s also in worse repair.  The house I live in now was fixed up, and it’s so beautiful now, even if it’s small.  Nessna has come here with me, along with her son.  It’s been so long since I’ve lived with a baby in the house.  The last time was when my brother was an infant!  I forgot how much work they are.  Rylad more than makes up for it by being adorable.  Nessna still needs help getting around, and may need me for a few months.  I’m hoping she’ll stay in the area after she’s better.  I’m becoming really attached to my little nephew, and will be sad not to see him every day.

Hethurin is gone to Shattrath with his students this week, but sometimes I still go up to the house just to give Tik someone to cook for.  That, and his meals are so much better than mine.  I try to cook, but it never comes out right.  There were some other guests there the other night, Linarelle and Ty.  I met Ty during the siege, and I guess I kind of didn’t think about it when he showed up here.  I’m so blind.

He likes me!  He just came out and said he wanted to see me.  At first, I thought that was weird.  He can see me.  He has eyes.  Then, well, I figured out that he means he wants to see me, like court me see me.  After I got back to my home, I spent the rest of the evening shaking.  I don’t know what to do.  I never even looked at him like that.  It’s not that he isn’t cute, he is.  I was just looking at someone else the whole time.

I mean, not looking.  I’m not obvious like that.  Besides, I don’t think he likes me, so it would have been awkward if he caught me doing that.  I’ll admit to stealing a glance now and then, but I never ogled him.  I thought he’d be around after we got back, since he lives in the town, but I haven’t seen him.  I’ve seen more of Ty than I have of the Confessor.

And then there’s the fact that Ty is the type who likes to go on adventures.  I can’t do that.  I’m getting my office set up in town, and I have to stay here after that.  I’ll have appointments and patients to see.  I can’t go running off to who knows where.  I could take a week off now and then, but those need to be planned months ahead of time.

I think I agreed to be his friend.  I mean, I thought that’s what we were.  I’m not sure if he sees it like that at all now.

I need someone to talk to, but I have no idea who.  Nessna just lost her husband, and I don’t want to make her sad, so I don’t think it’s a good topic to bring up with her.  I absolutely cannot discuss it with the Confessor, especially the part about liking him.  Besides, he doesn’t like me, so there’s not much point in telling him any of it.  Maybe when Hethurin gets back, I can talk to him, though he’s been busy lately, and to be perfectly honest, I think guys confuse him as much as they confuse me.  At least, from what he’s told me, they do.  I’ve thought about making a trip to Silvermoon for a day.  I need supplies anyway, but I can’t talk to anyone there about this either.  My mother will go nuts trying to figure out his social status and income or whatever else she judges people by.  My father might insist on me moving back home.  He’s a little over protective sometimes.  Esladra would just laugh.  I don’t really know anyone else well enough, so I’m writing here.

I still don’t know what to do.

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Filed under Journal, Lanthiriel, World of Warcraft

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