Aranae’s Inner Reflections

Tsi Ku came and found me.  They took my cave.  I had to sleep in the rain that night.  The next day Tsi Ku talked to me.  I followed her back to camp.  I’m not really sure why.  I guess I want to believe that someone really does care.  I don’t know how she can though.  We haven’t known each other very long.

I found some letters waiting for me at the camp.  Master Cheng keeps forwarding them.  I didn’t open them.  There were two from my father, and one from my brother.  I threw them in the fire when no one was looking.  I really don’t want to hear from any of them after what happened at my sister’s wedding.

Toruviel never apologized, which I guess just confirms that he thinks he has nothing to apologize for.  I should have let the sha eat his face.  I guess he doesn’t want friends, so he gets what he wants!

I saw Cadellus in the camp too.  He was with some of the scouts, so I guess they made him come back somehow.  I know he didn’t want to.  He didn’t come over to say hi, so I didn’t get the chance to ask and find out.

Maybe I’m just sick of the Silvermoon politics.  Your friends are only your friends as long as they’re useful to you in some way.  The moment they go to pursue something that interests them, and doesn’t help you, well they’re not your friend anymore.  I didn’t think of Toruviel as a friend until I saved his life, but I guess that’s not even enough sometimes.  I’m sick of having to bend to fit other people’s ideas of what I should be to them.  I’m nothing but just another girl to my parents, and there’s nothing I can do to fix that.

I just want to be myself.  I want to have friends who like me for me, not what I can be for them.  I don’t need family whose only concern regarding me is that I don’t do anything to embarrass them, or tarnish their name.  I don’t need strangers who go about their own things with a callous disregard of how it affects other people.

That’s what’s different here.  I think the pandaren, generally, consider the situation, and all sides of it, before acting.  They don’t have a backstabbing, selfish society.  They take care of each other.  They welcome new friends.  I wish elves were more like the pandaren.

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Filed under Aranae, Journal, World of Warcraft

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