Hethurin’s Notes

  • Our stay in Shattrath is going well so far.  I’ve not seen Aeramin or Vallindra at all.  I shouldn’t even include them in the same sentence, but it’s true, I don’t want to see either of them, but for completely different reasons.

  • I guess things went okay at the wedding, but I really don’t want to push my luck with Vallindra.  I saw the way she was looking at me there.  She was not happy at all, which I guess was kind of fun at the time, but now I’m scared of her again.  It’s best if I do my best to not run into her!

  • On the other hand, I would love to run into Aeramin, but I don’t think it would be good for either of us.  He’s unable to make any compromise, and wants a boyfriend that he can just keep in Shattrath, and take care of.  I can’t live like that.  I want some responsibility.  That’s what leaving your parents is supposed to be, and I wasn’t really getting that with him.  It’s like I went from being dependent on them to being dependent on him.

  • I did see Imralion.  I told him that it’s okay, and I don’t hate him.  He seemed to think I wanted to get back together with Aeramin, and kept asking questions about it.  I really don’t.  I didn’t want to say it, but I do still care for Aeramin.  It’s just that I don’t think we can be happy together.  I’d be unhappy staying in Shattrath, and he would be unhappy in the Ghostlands.  I’ve accepted it, and I’m moving on, even if moving on means being alone.

  • I might be alone for a long time.  There aren’t many people in the Ghostlands.  I could meet someone somewhere else, but what if they didn’t like the Ghostlands either?  I’m not really too worried about it, but eventually, I maybe might want to be with someone again.  Then it’ll be a problem.

  • Imralion isn’t the only one who thinks I want to get back together with Aeramin.  I was speaking with Isandri one night, and she thought I did too.  It’s starting to get weird.  I keep trying to think of what I did recently to make anyone think that, but I can’t think of anything.  Maybe Isandri just thinks I should, and Imralion just thinks I will!  Maybe they listened this time when I told them that that’s not what I want.

  • I’ve used the word ‘happy’ to describe myself recently.  I think it’s beginning to be true.  I truly enjoy teaching, and I feel safe, as well as responsible, in my home in the Ghostlands.  I’m taking part in fixing the house.  I’m making the plans for the school.  I’ve even decided to have contact with some of my family.

  • I’m also making progress with my spells, though I did have one that didn’t work as I had intended.  I wound up going too far.  I told Kes about it.  I told her about seeing myself, and the school, and the class.  I told her that my future self remembered that I would be there, and spoke to me, even though I was hiding with my invisibility spell.  I told her that I didn’t listen to my own advice to go back.  I tried coming to Shattrath instead, while still in the future, but the library wasn’t here.

  • I told her about how it ended, with someone grabbing me from behind, then waking up in bed in my sleeping robe.  But my notes were still in my practice room, and everything seemed so real.  I don’t even know how I got in my sleeping robe, so I’m very sure it really happened.  I thought maybe the bronze dragonflight had sent someone to stop me, but Kes thought that I might have done it myself.  I mean, my future self went to take me home.

  • That would imply a lot of things.  First of all, I don’t know any spells to make people fall asleep.  I guess I have fifty-seven years to learn at least one.  I’ve also learned how to travel with an unconscious person with me in the future.  I’m pretty light, so maybe I can pick myself up.  I guess that wouldn’t be so hard, but modifying the spell to work for more than just the caster is something quite a bit more difficult.

  • No matter who it was, Shattrath was someplace that someone doesn’t think I should see.  All I know is the library is gone, if I got to the right place.  I think I did, but I could have been off on that.  I didn’t really have a chance to look around to see where I was.

  • Anyway, partially because I don’t want to anger anyone by accidentally going too far again, I’ve decided to learn the next spells.  The ones that go to the past.  I was hesitant to begin with, but as long as I don’t change anything, it should be fine.  I’d like to find a way to add to the spell so that it makes you invisible and unable to touch anything.  I’m not sure that’s possible.

  • I think it’s knowledge of the future that might be too dangerous.  The past has already happened, as long as nothing’s changed, it’ll remain the same and my knowledge of it won’t matter.  So I should limit myself to only short jumps forward, but the past should be fine.

  • I don’t want to change anything.  I mean, sure, it would be tempting to stop what happened at the farm, and everything, but would I be the same place today?  I’d be stuck in Shattrath in that tiny apartment with just a dream of having a school one day still.

  • I feel good about where I am now.

  • My apprentices have been spending a lot of time in the library, which is good.  I’ve spent some time there myself, both for books for my own research and books to give me ideas for lessons.  I’ve also been giving the morning lesson in one of the rooms upstairs.  No one else is usually up there so I’m sure it’s not bothering anyone.

  • We went to Shadowmoon Valley to see the dragons already.  Ordinicus took us out to one of the rocks overlooking the nesting grounds.  We weren’t too close, but we were close enough to see them.  Ordinicus knows a lot about them.  We all had questions about them.  He should write a book.

  • I’m planning to take both of my apprentices to Netherstorm as well.  I’ve already made arrangements with the inn, and I’m finalizing the trip plans.

  • I’m also making plans with Lali and Raleth to visit.  Lali is still an apprentice too so they can all benefit from studying together.  Plus, the baby is cute.

  • Also, Tik has forwarded some mail for me.  Xanaroth wrote to me.  Maybe I can set up a time to meet him.

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Filed under Journal, Sanimir, World of Warcraft

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