Aeramin’s Notes

  • I haven’t written in a bit.  I had to clean up my circle in the bedroom.  I don’t feel safe pulling the rug over it.  Im could find it then he’d wonder what I was summoning in the house.

  • Uh yeah.  Not going to tell him about that.

  • So it’s easier if he doesn’t know.  I’ve told him two imps and a voidlord.  That’s all he needs to know.

  • He came back to talk to me about us few days or so ago.  I had sent a letter, and he showed up that night.  I didn’t expect Sanimir’s apprentice to show up.  I didn’t even know he was in town, but there she was, showing up at the same time as Im.

  • That was awkward.

  • It gets worse.

  • I asked them both in.  I couldn’t really talk to Im with Desdeyliri there, so we discussed her studies in fire magic.  I hadn’t expected to see her until another month, knowing that Sanimir had just left from his last visit to Shattrath.  So it was a bit of a surprise to talk to her again so soon.

  • I had thrown a roast in earlier, not really thinking I’d be feeding anyone but myself, it was small.  I wound up not having much of it.  I gave Im most of what I would have taken.

  • After we ate, there was another knock on the door.  It was Sanimir.  I let him in, and sat down near Im again.

  • Im told me recently that he thinks Sanimir must hate him.  I’m not sure about that.  I guess he’d have to talk to Sanimir if he really wants to know.  That might not be good for me.  Sanimir probably does hate me.  He did come inside that night.  He proceeded to say it was over and made a portal back to his place right there.  Then Im was worried that he was coming back.

  • He really didn’t hear him just dump me?

  • I mean we had talked about it a few days before.  A bit anyway, before he fell asleep on my couch.  That caused more trouble than anything else.  That and I was honest about loving him still.

  • I lied a bit about that last night.  I told Im that I didn’t.  I don’t know really.  I guess I’m still thinking.  I mean, I can’t love him.  It makes sense to let him dump me and just forget him.  He left me more times than I can count.  His family is just trouble through and through.  He wanted me to move to the Ghostlands where I would be completely dependent on him.  I don’t think anyone needs any calligraphy work there.  No weddings, no parties, no fancy books.  I’d have to rely on him for everything, and I just can’t do that.  Either that or portal here during the day and only go see him at night, which would be a bit weird if he only wanted me for that, especially given his disinterest in being close at all just before he left.  Then what if he decides he doesn’t want me there after all?  He’d drive me nuts nitpicking about my robes.  If there’s a loose thread, I can’t wear them.  I need new shoes because they don’t match.  Don’t wear a belt.  Wear a belt.  Not to mention, wear your hair down.  I don’t like my hair down.

  • I mean, if it was just one thing then maybe I could overlook it.

  • It’s mostly the leaving me.  Sometimes he left notes.  They didn’t help.

  • How can I still love him?  He does not love me.  When you love someone, their hopes, thoughts and feelings become just as important as yours.  If he had considered how it would make me feel when he left, he could have said “I just need time to sort things out, and I’ll be back.”, but he didn’t.  The note I got made it sound like I’d never see him again.  If he had trusted me enough to tell me why he was feeling how he was, that would have helped too.  He didn’t.  I think that hurts more than anything else.  I did everything I could to make him more comfortable here, and he just didn’t care.  He left.

  • I love Im.  I’m going to move forward with him.

  • I went to Netherstorm a couple of nights ago and followed Im’s group as they went to the ruins.  I watched the ground for any sign that someone else had been there, but didn’t see anything.  Tonight, Im was back from Netherstorm and showed me what he found.  It’s another piece of the soulstone.  I wanted to check it with the others right then, but we were eating supper, and it was nice to see him.  It was important to sit and eat with him.  I didn’t actually check the stone until after he was asleep.  I was tired also, but too excited about the stone.

  • It fits.  We have three-quarters of the stone now.  What worries me is that the rest may be in Shadowmoon, and I can’t stray too far from the sanctum there just yet.

  • I know there’s a felguard out there looking for me.  I told Im.  I think it might have scared him.  He wants to kill it.  I want it on my side.  It’s strong and powerful.  It broke my temporary bonds on it as if they were made of brittle glass.  The shadowy chains burst into shattered little pieces, and I thought I was going to die.  At the same time, I got a feel for how powerful this one is.

  • I want him.

  • Im was worried that I wouldn’t be able to bind it properly because it most likely despises me.  I know that if it caught me practicing too far away from the sanctum, it would not bother toying with me.  There would be no slashing around at my legs or spells meant to torture me.  Felguards are killing machines.  They typically delight in the pain of their victims before they finish them off, but this one knows I can fight back.  It won’t mess around.  It knows where to hit to kill.

  • I think it could be bad if Im found it.  I’m not sure his group is ready to handle one like that.

  • Maybe Kes, Embersun, the witch and I could all look together.  I’d feel safer.  Im did say he’d protect me, but I don’t think he should be too involved in this.  What we do is dangerous.  I don’t want him hurt, or worse, because of me.


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