Surgery is tomorrow. I’m very nervous about it, and I feel like I can’t even talk to anyone about it now. I tried talking to Isandri about it last night. I mentioned that I wanted to relax now that she was home with me. I just wanted to forget about the surgery for a bit. I guess she misunderstood or something. She got angry and said that was all I wanted. She even mentioned the houses. I don’t know why she would think I’d go there.
I guess if that’s all I had wanted, I would have? It’s not all I wanted.
Anyway, I figured she wasn’t going to help me get my mind off the surgery so I got up out of bed. I knew I wasn’t going to sleep, so there wasn’t much point in being in bed if she didn’t want me there.
My brother had dropped off the rest of the jewelry that I had asked him to make. I told him to keep some as payment but he didn’t. I started working on enchanting those last night but then I did get tired after all, so I went back to bed.
Then she wanted to.
I don’t even know what to think now. I guess it’s okay if she wants to but not if I want to. Of course, now I can’t talk to her about being nervous at all either. She’ll think it’s all I want.
I’ve been working on the jewelry enchantments more today. I’d like to get as many finished as I can so I can have them put for sale before tomorrow morning. Raleth is still out of town, and I think Sanimir is still in Silvermoon, so I made arrangements with the young mage who has been filling in for Sanimir to give us a portal tomorrow morning. I’ve been to the bank as well to have a transfer note made. I won’t be carrying around that much gold.
All this time I keep hearing my father’s voice in my head telling me that I get what I pay for.
I’m scared that he’ll be right.